Never Like You Think

by Patricia Santos

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1.
You were still here this morning with those kisses I crave. Now I'm cold in the evening, but my heart's not your slave. What a foolish mistake, one I shouldn't have made, to think you were the one. Why'd you have to pretend this is not what it is, if what you really wanted was to have hers and his? But I don't need you with me taking time from someone: the one I should love. Please try to keep in mind, dear, that I said from the start, "this may feel so good, but it's wrong." No more time to be kind, dear, though you're here in my heart. You may come on so soft, but you leave me so long. Oh darling, you drive me insane. But it's so hard to hate you with your love on my brain. Too bad for me - too bad for you, too - this is not to be, it is not you. You are not the one the one I should love.
2.
04:42
I see you standing there, rain falling down from your hair. Don't say a word, but you stare at me. You're tired of being alone. Don't got no one for your own. And yet you still just can't phone me. So why? Why then, my dear, are you standing here working all your charms? I think you've had too much to drink, and I don't plan to sink in your arms. Took me a while to learn, like lightning, your love could burn. When lovestruck, you turned from me. But lightning can be nice: since I've had to pay that price, be sure it won't strike twice with me.
3.
02:31
The sun comes up, kissing the river, warming the trees, and I love you. The wind blows through, carrying the birds, rippling the grass, and I love you. The moon glows down, pulling the waves, lighting the night, and I love you. The world goes 'round, and you live your life, and I know what I know, I sing this song, and I love you.
4.
03:13
5.
03:41
On a houseboat, and your parents are for a swim. They're back at sunset if the river don't take them. And hours are slipping by, you've gotta go. Time will teach us what we need to know. We're at the front door, and we're waving goodbye. From the corner of my window, over the Brooklyn skyline, a cloud with a name will bring us closer. But no, I'm not flying with you. I've got too much of my own to do. I'll see you on the other side of hope. From your apartment you offered me riches. I know I took a few. I ran home, sick as hell, and I slept year through. And over river, there's darkness coming, but that river keeps running and running. Over land there's blood flowing, a land I was born not knowing. I can't play the part you want me to be. I'm through the forest, and now all I can see is a palace in yonder hill. If you stop you may get your fill. But you're walking the land your own way. There isn't anything else to say. I hope we meet on that old hill someday.
6.
I'd like to crawl inside a little boat and paddle 'til I cannot see the shore. The sun beats down, but I'll have my parasol. The rain beats down, but I'll have my parasol. Sitting there with your mysterious frown, the Mona Lisa turned upside down. All our yesterdays were once tomorrows with you and me standing in the middle of... It's never like you think it's gonna be. Things have kind of gotten away from me. I quit my job and moved back to the sea. I ain't no clown, but I loves the circus. So settle down and eat your peanuts, son. Dance and sing about those abstract things Where spoken words always fail We'll come together again When I finally have to leave this world, chop me up and feed me to the birds. A cloud of starlings haunts the skies. Outside your window, a blue crow cries... It's never like you think it's gonna be.

credits

released May 27, 2015

Recorded by Todd Carder at The Bunker Studios, Brooklyn NY.
Produced and mixed by Andrew Swift for Swiftsounds, Mt Vernon NY.

Music, lyrics, and arrangements by Patricia Santos except where otherwise noted.
Photo by Marc Santos Photography
Design by Andrew Neesley

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Patricia Santos New York, New York

Patricia Santos is a songwriter and singing cellist (or vocellist) who draws on her classical training to meld the cello with non-classical styles. Her own songs range from blues to rock to folk and art-pop. Lucid Culture called her a "dark, diverse cello rocker", and Vance Gilbert describes her “as if Nina Simone and Yo-Yo Ma had a kid.” She is an active freelancer and instructor in New York. ... more

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